Coaching and Communication

A guide to navigating high-stakes conversations where emotions run high and opinions differ. Provides a clear framework for staying calm, speaking honestly, and listening effectively under pressure. Useful in any context, from the workplace to personal relationships, where the ability to communicate well can prevent conflict and create better outcomes.

An exploration of how vulnerability is a source of courage, connection, and resilience. Brown blends research with storytelling to show how embracing uncertainty and emotional exposure can transform relationships, leadership, and personal growth. This may sound woo-woo, we’ve heard similar concepts echoed by people from much different walks of life, such as former Dev Gru operator Eli Kfoury, in episode 117 of our podcast.

A guided tour through the language and meaning of human emotions. Maps out dozens of emotional states with definitions, research, and stories, helping readers better understand what they feel and how to communicate it. A valuable tool to help build self-awareness and stronger connections with others.

A comprehensive overview of the theory and practice of emotion-focused therapy, written by one of its founders. Discusses how emotions shape our experience, influence behavior, and can be harnessed for change when understood and processed effectively.

The definitive guide to motivational interviewing and one of the most important books you can read as a coach. MI is a conversational approach that helps people resolve ambivalence and commit to change. This is a classic in the coaching space, and the ideas in it can be very counterintuitive until you’ve spent some time figuring them out and applying them.

An in-depth look at how cultivating compassion for oneself and others can reduce shame, self-criticism, and emotional distress. Gilbert and Simos blend evolutionary psychology, neuroscience, and clinical practice to show how compassion can be developed as a skill.

Describes how our brains are wired for connection and how social awareness and skillful interaction drive success in relationships, work, and leadership. A practical complement to his earlier work on emotional intelligence.

A practical application of Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory for therapists and coaches. Dana translates complex neuroscience into accessible tools for understanding and regulating the nervous system, helping clients move from states of threat and shutdown toward safety and connection. Useful for anyone working in trauma, stress, or performance contexts.

A clear, practical guide to using attachment theory in therapeutic settings, written by the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy. Johnson shows how understanding attachment needs and patterns can repair and strengthen relationships, especially in couples work.

A concise, accessible guide to the skill of validation, the skill of acknowledging and affirming another person’s feelings without judgment or problem-solving. Sorenson explains why validation matters, how to do it well, and how it can transform relationships.

Examines how traumatic memories are stored differently from ordinary memories and how this impacts healing. Drawing on neuroscience, somatic therapy, and case studies, Levine explains how to safely access and integrate these memories to resolve trauma.

A deep dive into how the words we choose as coaches shape movement, learning, and performance. Winkelman uses motor learning research alongside practical examples to show how effective cueing can accelerate skill acquisition.

Part memoir, part coaching manual, this book focuses on the art of building trust and influence as a coach. Bartholomew emphasizes the interpersonal side of coaching (communication, persuasion, and understanding individual motivations) alongside the technical. A useful read for anyone who recognizes that coaching is as much about people as it is about programming.

A negotiation guide from a former FBI hostage negotiator, built on real-world, high-stakes experience. Voss shares counterintuitive techniques like tactical empathy and calibrated questions that work as well in business and personal situations as they do in crisis negotiations.

An introduction to Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy by its creator. Schwartz explains how the mind is made up of “parts,” each with its own perspective and role, and how even the most problematic parts have positive intentions.

A classic in cognitive behavioral therapy, this book provides practical tools for identifying and changing the thought patterns that fuel depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Burns’ podcast is also good if this is an area that you want to learn more about.

A helpful, non-academic read on concepts rooted in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Johnson explains the science of attachment in couples and outlines seven conversations that can strengthen trust, resolve conflict, and deepen emotional bonds.

A thoughtful exploration of how working with trauma, whether directly or indirectly, affects those in helping professions. Outlines strategies for recognizing signs of secondary trauma, maintaining personal well-being, and sustaining a long-term commitment to meaningful work.

Rich Diviney examines the qualities that determine performance when conditions are uncertain, complex, and high-pressure. Drawing from his experience as a SEAL officer at Dev Gru, Diviney distinguishes between trainable skills and innate attributes like resilience, adaptability, and situational awareness. He explains how these traits influence success in selection courses, combat, and everyday challenges, offering a framework for assessing and developing them in yourself and others.